this is stuff ive consumed. don't expect big entries for most of 'em.
i am not that discerning of a person. 0 stars means i hated it. 5 stars means i enjoyed it, but it had some flaws. 10 stars means i loved it.
mayyy 2020.. .. . .... ...... .
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ she-ra season 5
watched on 5/19/20
five seasons of build-up was well worth it. a beauitfully executed ending to an already quite excellent show. i wonder if i'll ever see a more satisfying main relationship than adora and catra's, eh?
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌑 rick and morty vat of acid episode
watched on 5/18/20
this season has some serious ups and downs. this one's definitely an up. i love when they take a concept and really run with it in a unique character-driven way and not just a 'lolrandom things are happening' way. the fuckin pixar style timeskip music love story montage was absolutely top tier for this season, and the callback at the end was just the best
watched on 5/17/20
scoob shows us that the real monster was humans all along, and specifically the fucking humans who made this movie
if you gave infinite typewriters to infinite monkeys even they could not create a script this fucking horrendously shitty
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌑🌑🌑 animal crossing but after having played it for like a month and a half
alright, alright, hype aside, what do i think of animal crossing?
honestly i'm a bit disappointed
nintendo is so close. so close. to making a really good game here.
but for some asinine reason they bogged it down with menus and slow animations and making everything just barely tedious enough that i haven't picked it up in almost two weeks now, to the chagrin of my unprecedented five-ish close friends willing to play with me every day. a number of friends owning a game that i could not even fathom under any other circumstance. do you know how hard it is to wrangle that many people together normally? goddamn
i could go over individual shit like not being able to craft multiple things ar a time, terraforming taking forever, moving buildings being an overnight issue, not having the indoor decoration mode outside for some reason, the ten year wait anytime anyone comes to or leaves your island, ect ect ect.
i had a lot of fun with the game, i'll probably come back to it at some point when i'm less burnt out by terraforming, and i'll have even more fun. there's nothing better than just hangin' out with your buddies and emoting so fast they do an exorcism on you, eh?
at some point i plan on putting together a page with all my animal crossing pics, so stay tuned maybe
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ half life vr but the ai is self aware
watched like april-mayish
look if i start putting internet articles and youtube shit on here this goddamn review page is going to be 10 million words by tomorrow, but
i can't just not put hlvrai somewhere. since i started watching my life has been absolutely consumed by this series. i love it so much. i watched all the streams. i watched all the commentary streams too. ive watched through the actual series itself like six times over. like, i was already obsessed with freemans mind and half life for a good portion of my life, so! this is just adding to the pile!
i can't wait for their next thing
⭐🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 Good Job!™ for Nintendo Switch
played on 5/1?/20
i thought this would be fun but i was really bored after like one level and couldnt make it far into world 2
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 rick and morty the new episodes that just came out
watched on 5/10/20
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌑🌑🌑 my hero academia season 4
watched on 5/10/20
stimulating but impressively forgettable? i can't believe i'm still keeping up with this show with how little i seem to retain, but, i mean, moment to moment its pretty exciting
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌑🌑🌑🌑 solar opposites
watched on 5/8/20
third rock from the sun with the irreverence of rick and morty
ultimately it just doesn't feel original in any way. even the intro is sort of lazily low-quality. i enjoyed it, but i'm hoping they'll put in a little more effort for season 2
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ the midnight gospel
watched on 4/20/20
last ep made me cry for a really long time
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ the adventure zone: murder on the rockport limited graphic novel
read on 4/18/20
while the first volume was good, the second volume was *excellent.* the jokes landed a lot better and i think they really hit a good flow in their adapting process. also, the art continues to be *stellar*, and the character design is just fantastic. love to see my boy ango.
also, the uh, little touches they give to the scenes at the BoB, both to foreshadow future arcs, and as a fun little wink and nod to people who've already listened to the podcast, are great. lucretia in particular gets a much more emotional portrayal in this than she got in the podcast - where she's very stoic and calm right up until near the end.
the only thing i could ever ask for, besides somehow magically incorporating that *fantastic* music into a purely visual medium, is for it to be *longer.* they cut out some good goofs! i know they have to, but its a little sad!
in conclusion, i've already pre-ordered the third installment and i'm *excited.* petals to the metal wasn't my favorite arc plot-wise, but it was very funny, and the closer we get to crystal kingdom, the closer we get to *the best shit.*
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌑🌑 the adventure zone: here there be gerblins graphic novel
read on 4/18/20
i bought these two adventure zone novels, like... half a year ago? and... forgot? anyway, i just read 'em. the first one was certainly a lot slower, and i don't envy the position they were put in by having to adapt what was definitely the loosest and least interesting arc of balance. not that i disliked it! it was just mostly ooc jokes and, uh, a *lot* of character sheet stuff...
anyway, they did a fantastic job! the art's beautiful, and while it is a little jarring having the main characters be more 'characters' than they really were at this point, i got used to it. i think it would have been very easy to adapt out all of the dnd elements and accidentally lose, like, half the charm of the adventure zone, so i'm glad they took a risk by not cutting it out.
and there were other good cuts, too - a few scenes and random encounters that just weren't interesting, in both this one and murder on the rockport, were worth cutting. (except they did my boy johann dirty!!! i know its not an audio medium, but still...!) what *was* jarring was that so many names and such had to be changed for copyright reasons, but, eh, not much you can do about that.
overall, it really blew away my expectations!
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ making comics by scott mccloud
read on 4/16/20
i've been meaning to read this book, and i'm so glad i finally got around to it. seriously insightful, and although i'm not a comic artist, i found it very interesting
watched on 4/8/20
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ keep your hands off eizouken
watched on 4/6/20
fucking fantastic. maybe my new favorite anime of all time - eizouken just has so much heart and passion and creativity, and of course as a huge fan of the actual *process* of animation it very much spoke to me
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌑 ducktales season 3
watched on 4/5/20
still good show
⭐🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 tom & jerry and the magic ring
watched on 3/23/20
yeah i'm really running out of stuff to watch
it was so boring i tabbed out halfway through like the third to last scene and didnt come back for two hours
it gets 1 point because i like when tom and jerry work together
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ AMINAL CROSSING
played on 3/20/20
🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐? a bunch of old betty boop cartoons
watched on 3/18/20
made of pen and ink, she can win you with a wink (yoo-hoo!)
betty boop's always been one of those characters like hello kitty or tintin that i certainly recognize but i could never name a single fact about. until today! what a wonderfully surreal and - surprisingly very dark at times - set of cartoons. there's something very charmingly rough about these old cartoons that i don't think i've ever seen any parodies or homages get correct. shoutout to koko and bimbo
anyway! these old shorts are fantastic, and absurd, and hilarious. if you've never seen these things, i'd highly recommend them - a good start would be this short (fun fact: betty boop was a dog, and not the main character, originally!), but minnie the moocher and the snow white one are fantastic classics, too.
10 croissants out of 10 because its kind of hard to rate something like this
watched on 3/18/20
good news everybody its still a movie and its the best one
🥓🥓🥓🥓🥓🥓🥓🌑🌑🌑 space jam
watched on 3/15/20
space jam. roger rabbit's disfigured and unpleasant younger brother. i'd never been graced with the chance to witness its glory, until i realized today it was on netflix. i can very safely give it a -7/10: deep into so bad its good territory, but still actually bad!
- the basketball players hitting their heads in the hallway got the one and only genuine laugh out of me
- jurassic park guy inflation
- poor michael jordan is trying his best but he is such a bad actor. i am so sorry michael jordan
- the *weird* implications of looney tunes being real, but underground in some sort of hollow earth scenario - michael jordan doesn't think they're real, but jurassic park guy considers them second class citizens.
- they joke at one point that bill murray just wandered onto the set and got a part because he was friends with the producer. this feels like the actual truth
- the arm stretch at the end was some fuckin bethesda nightmare fuel shit oh my god
- all of the parts with michael jordans family felt so weird. like a biography playing itself as a fictional story. were those actors, or his actual family? which scenario is weirder? you decide!
- michael jordan getting crushed into a basketball SCARED me with how jarring and sudden it was
- lola bunny, rot in hell
- the shading on the characters and the animation is very bad. the voice acting is also bad. the villains are garbage
- this whole movie is bad
anyway 10/10 movie
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌑🌑 kitchen nightmares
watched on 3/12/20
i'm usually not a fan of reality tv, but i was *real* bored, so on a whim i watched an episode or two. gordon ramsay rocks!
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌑 sack lunch bunch
watched on 3/5/20
yea really good
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌑🌑🌑 altered carbon season 2
watched on 3/7/20
pretty good! maybe even better than the first season! but still a little boring
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌑 stardew valley
played on 3/5/20
yeah, i played stardew valley around its launch, but i never got as far in it as ive currently gotten on my switch - that is, past winter and into year 2. so i feel like its fair to finally write a review for it
i do like it a lot. i like farming, i like fishing, i like mining, i like placing buildings and saying hello to all of my animals. unfortunately, the game starts to feel a bit tedious once ive got 100k in the bank and a shitton of sprinklers, and the time mechanic really grates on me. i'd rather take my time and go as far as i can in the desert mines, but alas, i've got the game on switch, and so i can't add timestop mods.
i also... have never bothered with the townsfolk and their friendship. they might be more fleshed out than animal crossing villagers, but i also care about them infinitely less, and even marrying one doesn't particularly interest me. the whole idea of just giving a villager a dandelion twice a week for a few months until they fall in love with me isn't my cup of tea - i'm here to farm and make money, and time is super limited. i don't have the time to go getting gifts for everyone and talking to them on top of everything else. they're all in weird spots every day!
played on 3/5/20
this fucking game. this fucking game. i've had it since the switch first came out.
i am never going to beat it. its so hard.
but god it is so good and unique
⭐🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 spyro reignited trilogy
played on 3/5/20
the only spyro game i'd ever played was spyro: shadow legacy for the ds, and although i was very young, i distinctly remember enjoying it a lot. i doubt it would hold up as well now, but the story really interested me, and, i mean, i think dragons are neat!
so when i saw the reignited trilogy on sale for half off on the switch a few weeks back, i was pretty excited!
cue my disappointment when i booted it up and it dropped frames constantly on my switch.
as it turns out, i straight up cannot play it in docked mode - my preferred mode of playing new, large games - and i have to play it in handheld mode. nevermind the fact that this is the same exact goddamn hardware except handheld is at a lower resolution. nevermind the fact that it still drops frames in handheld. but, yknow, whatever. its only a 60 dollar professional game made by professionals. i guess the switch isn't that powerful, although i still cannot believe theyd fucking put out a port KNOWING it runs this badly. the load times between levels are - literally - twenty seconds long. long enough for me to take out my phone and go on twitter. the load times when you die are 5+ seconds, too. its bad.
so, hows the game itself, then?
i got four levels in and then quit
it was so boring, the story was the shittiest most bland 3d platformer 'theres a silly bad boy and he messed up ur friends!!!' shit, spyro moves like ass and is so unwieldy, the collectibles are boring, the enemies are boring, the first boss was boring, the music is boring, the visuals are less charming than what ive seen of the original, the voice acting is horrendous - i'm sorry tom kenny, but i hate your spyro. thank god shadow legacy didn't have full voice acting, because i think i would've absolutely hated that game if it did.
so yeah, that's probably the most negative review i'm ever going to put in here. i'll go back to shadow legacy and see how it holds up. i'm sorry to review something i didn't finish or almost finish, but i'm definitely never going to finish spyro now.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌑🌑 wallace and gromit
watched on 2/27/20
i watched the first three shorts: a grand day out, the wrong trousers, and a close shave. while the first two were quite nice, i thought the third one was a little unsettling? wallace's design has always made me a little queasy, but seeing an identical girl version of him be very awkwardly courted was absolutely horrible, and - eugh, their teeth just bother me so much. anyway, overall, i did like it.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌑 scp foundation tales: the misadventures of dr xyank
read on 2/21/20
this is only the second set of scp tales i've read, with the first being the end of death, and i have to say, xyank's adventures rip just as much dick as that other thing. i'm really looking forward to the next installment, which is not something i say of web original fiction often. xyank is just a human Doctor Who that works for the shittiest organization in the world and i love him
also BIG UPS 4 that sickass trans rep
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌑 shaun the sheep: farmageddon
watched on 2/15/20
i dont know anything about wallace and gromit or shaun the sheep but this movie is so gosh dang adorable and i loved it so much. it had wall-e in it. the visual gags are really clever too! one star was taken off for shauns weird side mouth and the dogs tiny eyes, which i dont like.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 birds of prey and the something something harley quinn
watched on 2/8/20
yea it was pretty good. i mean, not... the best? this movie was exactly as cliche and middle-of-the-road as it could possibly be, and felt a little too 2006, but it was still enjoyable, and the end was pretty hype!
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rwby volume 7
watched 11/9/19 - 2/8/20
somehow absolutely incredible, maybe my favorite volume so far, bar maybe volume 3. i cant get over how far this show has come since volumes 1, 2, and... 4 and 5, lol.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 the ringing bell
watched on 1/31/20
this movie was really fucking sad!!!
rewatched on 1/26/20
my favorite movie of all time, rewatched for the billionth time on a flight to san diego. i will never get over how perfect every single moment of it is, from the numerous hello dolly callbacks later in the film, to the constant visual gags, to all the cute noises and motions wall-e makes... plus, the explicit anti-capitalist, anti-authoritarian message that permeates all of it. perfection. absolute perfection.
⭐⭐🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 lady and the tramp (original)
rewatched on 1/26/20look, its a cute movie, and i loved it as a kid, but i rewatched it on the flight and i really can't get over how badly structured it is, as well as how deeply, horribly backwards many parts are. watching it right next to wall-e was probably not fair though. never seen the remake and i never fucking will
played on 1/??/20one of those games that sets out to do something and does it to utter perfection. point taken off for just being too short, man, but id put this up there with portal, bastion, thomas was alone, ect.
read on 1/??/20
yknow, im actually one of those people who enjoyed the epilogues. i think the general message was pretty good - pip d's analysis, more or less, aligns with how i read it. friends left unchecked can slip into the worst versions of themselves and its important to foster a healthy community. people who go through horrible things but win in the end won't pop out the other side as good, moral, flawless people. but i just... don't see why homestuck is continuing in this specific fashion, with homestuck^2. the vast error type of artstyle is nice, but the unbelievably slow updates plus the somewhat... off-feeling characterization and dialogue just sort of bothers me. and (because it updates so slow and we haven't seen much yet) it looks like its almost going to be like a 'fix-it fic' of the epilogues? which... kinda undermines the whole message in the first place? i don't even know anymore
read/played? on 1/??/20
hit or miss! real hit or miss! but the hits are pretty entertaining, alright? the misses...
lets not talk about the misses
alright maybe one or two things. i'm not really a fan of the writing style. it feels meta in kind of a lazy way and the tumblr linguistics are already pretty stale. i like the direction they took a lot of the characters (and the focus they deserve after all these years!) but i just do not care about the friendsim stuff, which ruined feferi's route for me (which i otherwise REALLY enjoyed), and i don't see why they are needlessly 'woke'ifying characters made explicitly to be shitty, like eridan and (to a much lesser extent) equius.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ arrival (2016)
watched on 1/??/20
yeeaaeaAeee i dont know what da fuck goin on but its cool !!!
for real though, the concept of genuinely nonlinear time is super duper interesting. the alien language rocked too. i wanna see MoRe
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌑🌑 kipo and the age of wonderbeasts
watched on 1/??/20
man, dreamworks has been killin it, huh? after voltron, i thought she-ra was going to be a garbo fire, but then that turned out great. and now kipo comes out, and the artstyles weird, and i thought it'd be... bad, but man, was i wrong! kipo's a fantastic show! the pacing might be a bit off at times, but the animation is stellar, the soundtrack is just as good, the characters are super duper strong and interesting, the dna horseshit makes NO sense, i love every moment of it.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ steven universe future
watched on 1/??/20
little homeschool - a great reintroduction to the steven universe... universe. i love where they've gone with jasper - i was super worried about how they'd handle this, since i think the final season of steven universe handled corruption a little... fast, and jasper got more or less completely sidelined. i also love the incredible fakeout of the gem steven heals at the start being utterly inconsequential to the plot, as opposed to what everyone thought after seeing the trailers
guidance - smoky quartz is always welcome! its nice to have an amethyst episode, too. probably the most simple plot of the whole season, but hey, they wanted to start off familiar.
rose buds - if not for A Very Special Episode, this would be my favorite purely for the comedy. something about the humor is a little different in SUF, and i really like it! the rose quartz sisters were cute, although i would have liked to know more about their experience with the war.
volleyball - knockout punch of an episode. absolutely incredible animation and color use at the end, and as far as the overarching 'pink steven' plot, i really enjoy how it was handled here with all of the parallels. pink being the one to have hurt volleyball... really changes things, and changes her. even as stevens view of his mom changes, though, i appreciate the show's gentle reminder at the end - that for our pearl, she'd changed. we saw rose's arc and redemption in reverse, and even though she hurt a loooooot of people, i think she should be given the same benefit of the doubt as peridot, the other diamonds, jasper, et cetera. she became a kind person in the same way that steven seems to be doing the opposite, even if she never made up for the mistakes she made.
bluebird - another very silly episode. i hope bluebird doesnt show up again because i hate how she looks and sounds so much
a very special episode - this does not feel like an episode of steven universe. it starts off alright and then devolves into absolutely the most batshit episode of the show by far, and i love it to bits. the psa fakeout ending is the best shit ever, even if it calls into question whether or not the episode was even canon? watching it with the assumption that garnet is just a very bad actress makes it even funnier.
snow day - adorable episode. 16 year old me would have loved the whole 'please see me as an adult' thing.
why so blue - good episode? bit forgettable. liked the song though
little graduation - ooooohhhhhghgghhh i want to like it but steven being so thoroughly oblivious when he's usually pretty empathetic is just. hard to watch. the ending was pretty sweet, and its cool to see a nonbinary human character who isnt a fusion or anything magic, but man, this was hard in a way that prickly pair just did better. also lars/sadie breaking up is for sure for the best
prickly pair - wow. what an episode. steven having pretty rotten (albeit mostly reasonable given the shitty childhood he had) thoughts and being unable to grapple with them to the point where it hurts the people around him hits home, because inside of all of us is a little bastard cactus too. is it a metaphor for the diamonds filling pink with evil until she was evil too? i dunno. that ending too was really sad and my emo soul cactus felt it
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ the good place season 4
watched on 1/??/20
yeah i'm not smart enough to really say anything profound here. i only made it through philosophy 101 in college and didn't take any further classes. amazing show. amazing characters. ended when it should have instead of being cut off early or dragging itself out too long.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ infinity train season 2
watched on 1/??/20
seriously, spoilers for the last few episodes!
i'm gonna put it in dark text so you have to highlight it!
yo they fuckin straight up killed a man! that was wild! and really graphic for a kids show???
ok, no more spoilers. overall? absolutely brilliant. i had no idea how they could follow up the first season without some sort of ass-pull to get tulip back in - and then, of course, they revealed it was about MT. i love how they naturally just explored all of the questions i had after the first season, poking and prodding at the world they created and the moral complications of it.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌑🌑🌑 ollie & scoops
watched on 1/??/20
these videos have been in my recommended for a while, and i finally bit the bullet and watched one - wow! it's actually really pretty good for youtube animation, although the audio quality could use some work. i like the humor.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌑🌑🌑 little king john in THE FLOOD
watched on 1/??/20
really, REALLY good? i mean, there are still parts that are... uncomfortable to look at or listen to, but for the most part, holy shit, the emotions of the flood feel super genuine. lkj is such a complex character, but seeing him struggle so hard - and feel so rightfully wronged - just makes you love him. despite his quirks and his lack of empathy at times, in the end he does whats best, and makes a bunch of friends, too. i... don't think i can sit through this or dreams minecraft for a rewatch, at least not for a while. it was nice but the... unique... animations and slower pace would make it impossible for me to pay attention again
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 ratboy genius dreams minecraft
watched on 1/??/20
weird but sort of wonderful in its own way. the visuals are... modest, and the audio somewhat confusing, but goddamn, it all comes together into something sort of enjoyable. not nearly as good as the flood in my opinion, but still a lovely little thing. it has a lot of heart for something that looks like those 3d horror animations full of memes.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rogue legacy
played on 1/??/20
this game SPLITS ASS. im putting it here because i never got past the first castle section until this year, and hopefully i'll beat it. it ranks amongst spelunky and the binding of isaac as 'motherfucking amazing roguelike games' even though its more of a roguelite - the mechanical polish is unbelievable and it makes every moment of gameplay a dream. ill probably write more here if i ever beat it...
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌑🌑🌑 lost in space season 2
watched on 1/??/20
uhhh uhhhh uhhuhhuhhuuh huhuh uhuhu h hu hu i enjoyed but it didn’t really leave me with anything to ruminate on
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌑🌑 a boy named charlie brown
watched on 1/??/20
a boy named charlie brown is really weirdly introspective and wonderful and artistic. there are entire scenes that are just there to be pretty to watch or listen to, but have fuckall to do with the plot and make no sense at all. shoutout to the piano scene. its somehow both a lovely and clunky movie at the same time
by the way, this is my first review! technically, i read this in late december of 2019, but this review list was a little sad, so i added everything from here to LKJ as december holdovers, just so there'd be something.
this review format is heavily inspired by the reading section on macwright.org, at least in the format of it, although i got the idea to write down everything i read/watched/listened to for a year from fuckin, i dunno, someone on twitter??